Life's Passion

I'm not sure about where my life has gone or where it shall go in the future, but I believe my soul was meant for other things. I think it's a matter of location, not misdirection or mistakes. I've found the perfect woman, I have a beautiful daughter, and we have a comfortable life... but I think there's more.

My wife and I work too hard (well, she does) and it's rewarding enough monetarily, but it's not fulfilling. It's work. I want a passion. Not just for me, but for all of us. I don't know what, but something... buy a chateau in France or Italy with a vineyard and toil over each vintage; write a great novel that seizes the imagination; retake my art and stop feeling like I'm wasting a gift; learn to play the piano; rebuild and customize a '70 1/2 Chevy Camaro Z28 and road trip across the country; and share whatever it is with friends and family.

XXXVIII = 38?! Yikes!

Oof! 38 years old... ouch. When did that happen!?
Oh, well, time flies when you're having fun.
At least I don't feel as old as this age seemed when I was 20.

Papillary Carcinoma

So, Johns Hopkins returned the bad news on the pathology of the now banished thyroid. Something called a papillary carcinoma, which is generally the culprit in about 80% of thyroid cancers diagnosed. Scary! You hear the stories and stigma around the word cancer so when it gets close to home, you try to steel yourself for what may come.

Next, was to determine treatment. Apparently radioactive iodine treatment is standard after a thyroidectomy, it's just a matter of needing only an outpatient dosage or a 3-day quarantine hospital stay. Gina's doctor decided she needed the 3-day timeout. So, here's the deal - she takes a little pill that arrives in a metal box, inside a metal box, it can't be directly touched and once taken no one can be within 10 feet of her. It has a 6-7 day half life, so after 2 days, you were allowed very limited time within a 3 foot proximity. In fact, she can't have anything in the room with her that she can't throw away afterwards - clothes, books, magazines, etc. That cuts out the all of the fun stuff... iPods, portable DVD player, laptop, cell phone, etc. It's like a 3 day incarceration! She gets a TV and phone in the room and that's about it. No Internet? Yikes! Just euthenize me why don't you. Weird that the nursing and dietary personnel had to wear little geiger counters to monitor their exposure when they had to enter. That's some serious stuff.

All in all (not that I was the one going through it) for "chemotherapy" this is a pretty mild form - no nausea, hair or weight loss; only a mild dry, sore throat for which they perscribe lemon hard candies. Papillary cancer cells that may have spread elsewhere in the body will absorb iodine, so if the iodine is radioactive, it will then kill those cancerous cells. Apparently the iodine will then show up in a full-body scan a week later if there are additional cancer cells somewhere... Gina's scan was NEGATIVE.... Yeah! Finally some good news.

So, let's hope this chapter of this blog and of this scariness is over! I've realized that I'd rather have it myself than watch Gina go through something like this again. I've also learned a new respect for what serious cancer sufferers (afflicted or related) go through - it goes against the "beats a stick in the eye" saying.

Hospitals

Arriving at 6:15 am for my wife to undergo a thyroidectomy, I would much rather be the chauffeur than the patient. Sure the chauffeur (especially a spouse/parent) has to endure a lot of waiting in usually uncomfortable chairs, watching a TV that you'd kill to control the remote (especially us husbands) and the lack of timely information - but I'd take that any day over anesthesia, being cut open, anesthesia nausea, noisy roommates, noisy hallways, hourly poking & proding, the food (blah!), leashed to an IV and most of all, the endless hours of boredom. It makes one consider the benefit of being DOA.

The elderly woman in the next bed asked them to change her bedding, then asked if they do that daily. The clinical assistant said that they "make" the beds daily (um... not when there's someone almost always in it?) but they don't "change" the sheets daily. Huh? Even the cheapest hotels change the bedding daily if there's an occupant - but in a hospital, it isn't necessary? If the hotel can afford it from just the room rate, a hospital has profit oozing from many sources and like they don't charge enough for the hospital room to at least give you clean linens?

The roommate is wearing noise-cancelling headphones connected to the TV mounted on a nifty floating arm - she said they're for "all the noise around here". She also has her cell phone on the loudest ringer setting (so she can hear over the noise-cancelling headphones no doubt) and takes a minimum of 3 rings to answer it. Funny thing is I only hear her speaking loud to all of her friends from Century Village (FL) and NY about the diverticulitis that has stranded her here for "a minimum of 12 days". Glad we're only here for 2 days!

Luckily Gina's surgery went perfectly, hopefully the side effects (mostly from anesthesia) will subside soon. Then she can get home and rest in a nice & quiet comfortable bed.

I Jyte, therefore I am (wasting time)

Okay, Jyte is cool... I don't know why, but it is. And it's addicting.

For those of you that don't know, Jyte is a website where you can make a claim or share cred and others can vote on your statement (thumbs up or thumbs down).
Some of the statements are really inane (i.e. Learning to speak Klingon is a complete waste of time, I sing in the shower, etc.) others are more interesting a debatable (i.e. The purpose of life is different for different people., I don't feel that I really have a purpose, etc.).

My one and only post (so far) was The Internet was always interesting, but only now is it becoming useful. - currently being downed 10 (up) - 12 (down). Sometimes the questions and votes are difficult to interpret, such as in this one... do people think the Internet has always been useful or do they not think it is yet. Or, are they confused that perhaps I was considering email as part of the Internet - which I wasn't.

Anyways, check it out. Just surf through the claims, it's easy, but if you want to vote or make your own claim, you'll have to register or sign in with an OpenID (if you have one).

(what) To Be or Not To Be... that is the question.

Besides when I was a kid with a lawnmower, I've only been self-employed 1 other time. I started a graphic design company with a partner at first and then later bought him out when he needed to relocate. I had the company for about 3 years until desire gave way to need and I took a design position with a clothing catalog company.

Having my own company taught me many things - mostly from the "how to run a business" administrative side - payables, receivables, filing taxes, business licenses, how to incorporate, etc. During that time, I also learned the computer side of my design craft. I was an Illustrator with a self-proclaimed keen eye for design, but until then I hadn't really been computer trained. Krow, Inc. not only gave me my present day moniker and persona, but a solid foundation on which I've built over the years.

The catalog company taught me several invaluable lessons. The first was how to work as part of a team and how to work within a process. The job was very regimented in its processes and showed me the importance of paying attention to the details - every minute, fine detail. I am genetically anal-retentive and obsessive-compulsive anyway and this just further nurtured that nature. I also grew my knowledge of printing - sheetfed, large web presses, inks, papers, etc. but after 3 years, I was ready to move on.

I took a job with an advertising agency thinking that the diversity of many clients and different creative projects would restimulate my brain after the monotony of the catalog business. This turned out to be true. Expanding my creative portfolio to include more print advertising, brochures, billboards, identity packages, etc. But here is where I met 3 important people in my life.

The first and most important was my wife, Gina. She was the VP of Finance at the agency and likes to say that I fell in love with her because she was intrumental in getting a raise at one point - while that helped us first interact, it was only the catalyst to getting to know all of her qualities that really made me fall in love with her.

The next was someone I considered to be a creative mentor. He taught me how to not only be the one who executes (designer) but how to to be a Creative Director. He taught me how to formulate the ideas - how to think - and not just self indulgent creative but something truly beneficial for the client... good advertising.

The last is my current boss. I brought on his software company to the agency as a client and later he brought me on as his VP of Marketing and am now in charge of sales and marketing.
He's helped me broaden my business acumen. In addition to being very business saavy, he's knowledgeable in marketing and sales, while at the same having a solid background in the technical foundation of our company. I've learned quite a lot about business management
from him and continue to still.

I hope to someday soon venture again into entrepreneurship and leverage the knowledge I've been gleaning from everyone. I'll be happy if I can parlay it into similar success. I'll keep you posted.

Why blog?

I'm not sure... why are you reading this? If you don't know that, then I shouldn't have to know why I'm blogging. I read several blogs and many of them are brilliant musings by brilliant men, but what will mine be like? I guess we'll see...

I have about a 30 minute one-way drive to & from my office - this provides me with a lot of time to think, daydream, formulate, plot and plan. But that's thinking, no judgment, no editor, no critique, and let's face it... some things are better left unsaid, or for that matter, unwritten.

I'm sure the fodder for my posts will be factors of my life - children, family, pets, work, sports and personal finances. But I'm sure I'll delve into subjects that are more ancillary - politics, foreign affairs, tabloid journalism, music and entertainment.

The one thing I ask is that just as you shouldn't judge a book by the cover, don't judge this blog by this prelude post. Perhaps the chapters to come will hold more promise. Hopefully, there can be some outside contributions to spark discussion, debate or even future posts. More importantly will be my own commitment to feeding this blog on a regular basis - like I said, I guess we'll see (and read).